


judge

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anger, Emotional Constipation, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 17:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20456930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: #8





	judge

**Author's Note:**

> im having trouble keeping track of what # im on and every work has been typed on my phone
> 
> another problem arises today  
my thumb is bandaged, so im typing slow rn

I’ve always been a pretty nasty kid. Bullying my brother cuz the other kids did. Bullying my cousin cuz my family did. I always tried to save my own skin. I stopped bullying but I’m still terrible.

The stupidest things get me angry. I’ve always rocked. Like, back and forth. It’s calming. I even did it at school. But if I’m in a chair that squeaks, I explode on the people around me. If someone takes over and does a task for me, and they do it differently from me, I snap at them. If someone eats loudly near me, I get mean. Even people just talking too loudly get me edgy. My brother used to jab at me by saying I had anger management issues. I always feel guilty about it.

I can’t apologize. I’ve made people cry, and still refused to apologize. It’s just so uncomfortable. I know I should probably put their feelings before mine but apologies are just the worst. I used to be able to, but not anymore. I always feel guilty about it.

I stand by. I’ve witnessed people get hurt or in trouble, but I wait for someone else do deal with the problem. I stand and watch. I always feel guilty about it.

I lie. I’m almost always lying. Sometimes I don’t want to talk to people. So I say I’m about to go to bed or that I have something to do. I’ll admit it as well, I’ve faked being sick to get out of church or hanging with my friends. I always feel guilty about it. 

I complain, like right now. I have a good life. I’m well off. But I always find something to nag about. As if I have problems. I don’t, really. I can always remind myself this, yet I find myself still being unappreciative. I always feel guilty about it.


End file.
